


The Evils of Dance Dance Revolution

by prettyapathetic



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slash, Smut, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:58:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyapathetic/pseuds/prettyapathetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened after House, Wilson and Chase went speed dating in "Private Lives"? I wrote this for bery26 on livejournal after she posted a poll asking what everyone thought happened later that night. This was a mash up of pretty much every option she gave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Evils of Dance Dance Revolution

“I can’t believe you talked me into that,” Chase said, looking completely unimpressed. “Seriously, people are actually successful at finding someone doing that?”

 

“Don’t look at me. This was all Wilson’s idea,” House said, shaking his head as they left the conference room at the Hilton Garden Inn of downtown Princeton. “What a bunch of _freaks_.”

 

“Oh come on,” Wilson said, exasperated. “It wasn’t that bad! There were some really nice women in there!”

 

House and Chase both turned to look at Wilson with matching looks of stunned horror. “I don’t know what girls you were just talking to, but they sure as hell weren’t the ones I saw. I know hookers that are more interesting,” House said, still looking at Wilson like he’d grown a second head.

 

“You hang out with this guy?” Chase joked to House, cocking a thumb in Wilson’s direction. “Seriously Wilson, that was dodgy.”

 

Wilson rolled his eyes and sighed. “Okay fine, it sucked. Happy now?” He flailed his arms slightly in frustration. It wasn’t like he’d forced them to go.

 

“I need to get totally sloshed after that, burn the memory from my mind,” Chase said, trying to sound annoyed though he couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged at his lips at Wilson’s flailing.

 

“Ah, I knew there was a reason I took you back,” House said smugly, clasping Chase roughly on the shoulder. “Quick Wilson! To the liquor store! We need provisions!”

 

Wilson furrowed his brow in concern and frustration. “House, you shouldn’t be drinking,” he stated emphatically as he placed his hands on his hips and narrowly stopped himself from wagging a finger at his best friend.

 

House snorted. “Come on Wilson. I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. It’s not like I’m asking to pick up some big bad Vicodin,” he said, rolling his eyes.

 

“House…” Wilson started, sounding even more exasperated.

 

“Besides,” House said quickly, effectively cutting off Wilson’s lecture. “Chase will be there to help you baby sit.”

 

Chase made a small sound of confusion and raised an eyebrow at House. He hadn’t been all that surprised when Wilson had suggested the speed dating to him, considering everything that had so publicly gone on with Cameron (honestly, he was more surprised that he’d accepted the offer), but he had not expected to hang out with the other two doctors post-speed dating. When he’d mentioned the alcohol, he hadn’t been thinking about them all drinking together, just about going home and getting sloshed. Despite his lack of social behavior of late, Chase found himself nodding that he would, in fact, be joining them for some much needed alcohol. Besides, who better to understand failed marriages and not wanting to talk better than James Wilson and Gregory House?

 

House turned over-exaggerated puppy dog eyes and a pout at Wilson. Wilson sighed again and turned towards the car. “Fine!” he called, not turned back to look at them.

 

House grinned widely and clapped Chase on the back hard enough to rock him forward. “Follow us in your car,” he commanded and limped off after Wilson.

 

Chase shook his head, still unsure as to why they wanted him to tag along, and more importantly, why he’d accepted. Shrugging to himself, Chase walked towards his car figuring getting drunk with two colleagues was better than getting drunk alone, even if one of those colleagues was House.

 

***

 

A couple of hours later found Chase, Wilson and House on the new couch in the loft and more than a little drunk. House sat in one corner, bad leg stretched out across the couch. Wilson was on the floor near the middle of the couch with his head lolling back against House’s leg while Chase sat in the opposite corner, legs drawn up to try and keep out of House’s way.

 

“So what you’re telling me is,” Chase was saying, only slurring slightly as he waved his bottle of beer around as he spoke, “that Cuddy’s boyfriend ruined your flat screen by setting off the sprinkler system in here.”

 

Both Wilson and House nodded solemnly, each taking another sip of their own beers.

 

“What a clever bastard,” Chase said, sounding slightly awed. “I mean, how do you even set up a sprinkler system to go on cue? Don’t buildings like this have security to prevent vandalism like that?”

 

Wilson sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and shrugged. House rolled his eyes and whined, “I’m bored. Wilson, get out that stupid game you got. Watching you drunkenly dance always cheers me up!”

 

Chase scowled slightly when he thought about the last time he saw Wilson dance while drunk. It was about five minutes before he’d gone into anaphylactic shock at his bachelor party. Then his brow furrowed more in confusion. “Wait, what?”

 

Wilson grumbled, looking slightly embarrassed. “No, House,” he replied firmly.

 

“Get this,” House started, his eyes glimmered with mischief. “Wilson has ‘Dance Dance Revolution’.” His tone was mocking, but there was lightness to his teasing.

 

“You serious?” Chase asked, disbelieving. “Oh, I’ve _got_ to see this! Come on Wilson, bet I kick your ass.” Chase gave Wilson a challenging look that can only come from someone three sheets to the wind.

 

Wilson tilted his head back further on House’s leg so he could glare at Chase for a minute. “I’ll have you know I’m awesome at this game. I could kick both your asses!”

 

“Cripples don’t dance,” House proclaimed. “Leave me out of this.”

 

Wilson and Chase eyed each other a bit longer before Wilson finally said, “fine, you’re on!”

 

Due to their level of intoxication, it took a bit longer than usual to set up the game, but no one complained. In fact, House spent the entire time laughing heartily at them. Who knew a video game about dancing could be so much fun for a cripple?

 

If House thought the set up was funny, watching the two drunkards in front of him actually try to play was a virtual laugh riot. House literally hadn’t laughed that hard in years. The vision of Wilson stumbling so much that he kept knocking Chase down and Chase yelling “bullocks!” every five seconds was going to be enough to keep him amused for quite awhile.

 

“That’s it, I’ve had it!” Chase finally shouted, sitting back down, taking up his former position on the couch.

 

House just continued to laugh at the both of them while Wilson stared daggers at the other two men. Chase rolled his eyes in return. “Wilson, we’ve been playing for twenty minutes and haven’t beat the first level. I’m _done_. Some games just weren’t made to be played while drunk.”

 

“Oh I beg to differ,” House said, wiping tears of mirth from the corners of his eyes. “I only wish I had taken video of that. It _so_ would’ve been in an email forwarded throughout the hospital.”

 

Wilson continued to scowl, but House just shook his head and patted the empty space on the couch between him and Chase. After a moment, Wilson grudgingly complied and sat between them.

 

“Why don’t we watch a movie or something?” Chase said. “That way we can keep drinking, but not have to stand, except to get more beer of course. Speaking of, you two gentlemen ready for another round?” Chase stood and headed to the kitchen when he got an affirmative response from the two men on the couch.

 

House was staring off into space as Chase went off to get beer. He had, Wilson noticed, that look he gets when he’s just figured out what’s wrong with one of his patients; the House epiphany look. “Oh no, I don’t think so. Whatever you’re thinking, no,” Wilson started, shaking his head a little too emphatically.

 

“Oh no what?” Chase asked as he returned with more beer. He looked at House inquisitively, immediately recognizing the look as well.

 

“I just figured out the perfect movie for us to watch,” House said, suddenly getting up quickly, and limping off towards the bedroom.

 

“House!” Wilson shouted after him. He may have been fairly drunk, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know a bad idea when he saw one. “Shit,” he muttered. “Why do I have the feeling that I’m going to be very embarrassed in the next few minutes?”

 

Chase snorted slightly at Wilson’s response, but knew the other man was probably right. Anyone that knew House at all outside of work knew that ‘the look’ without a patient was never a good thing.

 

House returned a few minutes later holding an old, unmarked VHS tape. “I found this a few days ago, haven’t had the chance to check it out yet though,” House said with a smirk.

 

“Where did you find that?” Wilson asked a bit too quickly, his voice going up an octave as he suspected what it was, but prayed that he was wrong.

 

“Well duh, the box at the bottom of your closet silly!” House exclaimed, gesturing wildly with the cassette, an exaggerated grin brightening his face. Honestly, House had no idea what was on the tape, though he suspected it was porn. He was really just doing this to rile Wilson. “I’m just glad I managed to get the VCR hooked up to the new television! I don’t know _what_ we would’ve done then!”

 

Wilson groaned audibly and Chase chuckled at the both of them. He’d seen bits and pieces of the two older doctors picking on each other at the hospital, but that was nothing compared to the off the clock House and Wilson dynamic. Far more entertaining than Dance Dance Revolution was anyways.

 

House frowned and gave Wilson a curious look when he didn’t immediately try to get the tape off of him as he’d expected, especially with Chase there. Wilson actually had no intention of stopping House. He knew exactly what was on that tape and though he knew he’d be embarrassed, he thought it just might be worth it to see House’s reaction to the content. He’d figured House would find the tape eventually. The only thing he hadn’t counted on was Chase being there when all this went down.

 

House shrugged and popped in the video before sitting back down on the couch and getting comfortable as the opening credits started. None of the men watching were surprised to see the screen light up with the logo for AVC, one of the largest adult movie production companies in the continental U.S. Only House apparently noticed the slight addition to the logo denoting it being from their homosexual collection. House sat forward quickly to stare wide-eyed, making sure he’d seen it right.

 

He had.

 

Slowly, he turned to face Wilson, looking comically shocked with his mouth gapping open and his eyebrows shot nearly into his hairline. Chase looked at the two with amusement before checking out the television again, trying to figure out why House was so shocked by Wilson having a porn stash. He was a guy after all.

 

“Holy shit!” Chase shouted, standing up in surprise, nearly spilling his beer with the motion. He barely noticed though, too distracted by the image of a much younger James Wilson on screen.

 

House’s head whipped back around to look at what Chase was shouting about and almost fell off the sofa. “Holy shit,” House agreed, sounding shocked and just a little impressed. Despite the flush of embarrassment creeping up his neck, Wilson smirked, feeling proud that he’d actually surprised the unflappable Gregory House.

 

The scene stuck like that for a surprisingly long period of time; Chase standing, mouth agape, House staring wide-eyed and surprised at the set, head tilted slightly to the side as if that would make the world make sense again and Wilson, sitting back, blushing and smirking for all he was worth.

 

It wasn’t long before the movie really got going and Chase discovered the initial reason for House’s surprise. His knees went out from under him and he sat down hard on the couch, eyes never leaving the television screen.

 

On screen, the younger version of Wilson writhed and moaned as some guy gave him the blowjob to end all blowjobs. “Wow,” House said, sounding a bit breathless. It took all his willpower to turn away from the screen to look at the real man sitting right next to him. “I had no idea.”

 

House sounded genuinely surprised and just a little turned on, but Wilson scoffed anyways. “Go ahead, do your worst. I’m sure there are about a million and one jokes at my expense just building up in your head. Just… don’t say anything at work. That goes for you too Chase.”

 

Chase blinked and waved Wilson off with a hand, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen. He’d been lonely since Cameron left him and well, this was some fucking _hot_ porn. He couldn’t care less that it starred the Head of Oncology. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he managed after a moment, still refusing to look away from the screen.

 

House continued to look at Wilson appraisingly, causing Wilson to shift under his gaze, feeling even more uncomfortable. “What didn’t you know?” Wilson asked, meekly.

 

“How fucking hot you look when getting thoroughly fucked,” House replied, voice low and husky. Wilson started to scoff again, trying to think up some witty comeback for what had surely been House teasing him, but House’s lips firmly planting against his own swiftly cut him off. His eyebrows shot up, completely shocked for a moment before giving up and melting into the kiss.

 

Chase finally managed to turn his head from the riveting porn on screen when he was bumped slightly by a random leg, only to find that the image live and right in front of him wasn’t all that much different from the scene on screen. Chase’s head quirked up and his eyebrows rose slightly in his typical look of surprise. He had heard rumours about House and Wilson, but had never really paid them any mind before.

 

Moving as easily as he could so as to not disturb the other two men occupying the couch, Chase slid off the couch and moved over to the separate but matching chair. Not only did this give House and Wilson more room, but also it gave Chase a much better view.

 

House had grabbed Wilson by the back of the head, holding him in position as he kissed him deeply. His tongue swept languidly through Wilson’s mouth, trying to drink in the other man as he let go of all the pent up repression he’d been harbouring over the last however many years.

 

Wilson clutched and fisted the front of House’s tee shirt and tried to pull him closer, suddenly lost in the feeling of House and wondering how the hell he’d ever done without this. Opening his mouth to House’s assault, Wilson let out an audible moan.

 

It became apparent to Chase that the two men on the couch had completely forgotten his presence, which was completely fine with him. One thing Chase had learned from his S&M days was his kink for voyeurism and the people involved this time made for no exception.

 

Chase got comfortable, sitting back in the chair and pressing the heel of his hand into the growing bulge in his pants as he watched the two men in front of him kiss passionately. He groaned appreciatively and rubbed a bit harder at his crotch when House’s hand slipped down Wilson’s chest to rub at Wilson’s own obvious erection.

 

Deftly, House popped the button on Wilson’s slacks and unzipped his fly, pulling out the erection he found there as Wilson’s head tipped back in a moan. House looked down at Wilson for a moment, a look on his face that Chase had never seen there before. It took a minute before Chase realized that the look was love and he wondered briefly if the two other men had done this before and if so, why all the speed dating crap?

 

Chase was quickly distracted from his thoughts when House suddenly let out a low moan of his own. In the few seconds Chase has spent contemplating the look of love on House’s face, Wilson had managed to undo House’s pants and had started returning the favour. “Shit,” Chase groaned to himself as he followed suit, undoing his own fly and stroking himself in time with the other two men.

 

The hottest part, Chase had to admit to himself, was that House and Wilson were now staring into each other’s eyes as they continued to jerk each other. There seemed to be an even mix of love and wanting and surprise in those looks and Chase thought that he’d have fuel for his fantasies for a long time coming now.

 

Wilson came first, his body arching, eyes going wide for a moment before falling shut and slumping against House. House followed quickly, biting his lip and pressing his head to Wilson’s. The sight before him was too much and Chase threw his head back and moaned. He managed a few more quick jerks before it was all over for him to.

 

Chase wasn’t sure how long it was before he came back to himself, but when he opened his eyes, he was surprised (and a little embarrassed) to find House and Wilson cuddled together and staring at him. At first he thought they were going to attack him, until he noticed the smirks on both their faces. Chases eyes narrowed suspiciously at them.

 

“Why do I have the feeling that I’ve been set up?” he asked, tone as suspicious as the look on his face.

 

“Because you were,” House replied happily. “We had a bit of a bet about just what your preferences were. Wilson here owes me a hundred bucks.”

 

Wilson glared at House. “I’m only paying half. We bet that he’d be interested _and_ join in,” Wilson said defensively.

 

“He just got off in front of us!” House exclaimed, looking disbelievingly at his best friend. “You don’t call that joining in?”

 

“No. He didn’t join in anymore than anyone watching porn. Not the same thing,” Wilson replied firmly. “You’re only getting 50 out of me.”

 

“Fine,” House replied petulantly while rolling his eyes.

 

It was then that House and Wilson both noticed the completely shocked expression on Chase’s face.

 

“You wanted me to join?” Chase asked disbelievingly.

 

“Well, duh,” House replied, rolling his eyes again. “Why do you think Jimmy here invited you out speed dating?”

 

“Riiiight,” Chase drew out the word, emphasizing his disbelief. “I should go, but thank you both for the fun and … _interesting_ evening.” Chase would never admit it, but he had wanted to join. This was obviously House trying to mess with him again though (albeit in a new and much more interesting way), and even if it wasn’t, Chase wasn’t willing to take the chance. He’d much rather cash out when he was up and get out of dodge. He got to see something really hot and get off. Now it was time to make a quick exit.

 

“You shouldn’t be driving!” Wilson suddenly called out, being the responsible one, as always.

 

Chase chuckled. “I was going to call a cab, but thanks for worrying, mom,” he replied as he headed for the door, still shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that House thought he’d fall for something like that. They wanted him to join, sure they did. They had barely noticed he was in the room until it was over. Chase chuckled again as he slipped his shoes and coat before dialing the local cab company. “See you at work,” he said and left.

 

Wilson sighed. “Well, this isn’t exactly how I expected the evening to turn out,” he said, resting his head on House’s shoulder. “Did you really plan all this?”

 

House put his arm around Wilson and pulled him a bit closer. “Sort of. I’ve been planning on seducing you for a while. Chase was just an added bonus and he is kinda fun to mess with.”

 

“He really is pretty isn’t he,” Wilson added by way of agreement to Chase being a bonus.

 

“You are too, you know,” House said, sounding uncharacteristically serious.

 

Wilson looked up at him then, searching House’s blue eyes for any sign of teasing. Upon discovering none, he leaned in and kissed House again.


End file.
